if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
