It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
