Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Two words: nipple clamps
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