is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
