i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
wow bdsm is so cute
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
