i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
