Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
