Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it glows. i had to have it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
