Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
farters have to be the big spoon...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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