I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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