Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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