I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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