Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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