..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
