Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
