Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
