I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize