Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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