Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
