i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
