Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just blew my weed a kiss
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm determined to sit on that face.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
