C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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