We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
