I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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