He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
