her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
