my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize