I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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