some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
