The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
