ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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