My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
