its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
