I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize