im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Less talking, more tequila
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
