when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
