Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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