windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize