Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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