ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
