belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
