you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
