Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
