it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
