The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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