her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
please come you make the beer taste better
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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