kristin has been a bad kristin
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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