Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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