is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
where does the pee come out of this thing
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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