My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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