why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
