Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
