One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
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