I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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