Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
