You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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